What can you do when your spouse asks for a divorce and you want to work on the marriage?
First, you will want to explore options for working on your marriage with your therapeutic network or faith community. If your spouse is open to going to couples counseling this is a great first step. He or she may be willing to work on the marriage with the assistance of a trained professional.
If your spouse is unwilling to work on your marriage you will need to consider your divorce options. You can disagree with a divorce but you cannot stop it from happening. Minnesota operates under “no fault” divorce laws, which means that one spouse can go forward with the divorce without having to find fault (like “cheating” or “abuse”) with their spouse. Because “no fault” must be found to get a divorce, there is no way to contest a divorce in Minnesota. In Minnesota only one spouse has to assert that there has been an 'irretrievable breakdown (broken beyond repair) of the marriage relationship" in order to get a divorce. You will be forced to participate in a divorce even if you don’t agree with it or think efforts at reconciliation can still be made. However, if your spouse wants a divorce you should consider your options wisely on “How” you get divorced. You don’t want to wait until your spouse “serves you papers” to understand your options. I hear people say all the time:
“If only I knew there were other options before we started out in court.” And
“Why didn’t anyone tell me about the private no-court or Collaborative options? We would have saved time, money and maybe not hated each other as much.”
Also, if you desire to work on the marriage or reconcile with your spouse there are divorce options more sensitive to reconciliation than others. The first step is to find out what options you have!